Goldmine Suction orbital energy rig consumes Earth star

End of an era as ancient star converted into 5 BTC

Draining the final bits of chromosphere took only minutes

Today the Developed Ancestors of The Ancient Solar System (DATASS) gathered at the edge of the corona of their once mighty star to bid farewell. Even a few tears were shed as the orbital mining rig removed the last remnants of the star that had played a key role in early human and dolphin development. Bitcoin (BTC) prices rose 2% on the announcement of solar collapse.